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eality TV meets Starfleet in William Shatner's Spplat Attack Welcome to the Planet Joliet of the Illinois Galaxy—the next frontier, and site of a battle among the Borg, the Klingons and the Federation, led, of course, by William Shatner himself.
As Shatner explains at the start of the film, "This is the mission of the starship Spplat Attack. Our one-day objective: To preserve the balance of power in the universe, and neutralize the threat of the alien known as the Big Giant Head. The ammunition may be paint, but the danger is very real. Make no mistake—we're heading into battle, noble battle."
In more Earth-bound tones, the premise is that the Big Giant Head has assembled the armies of the Borg, the Klingons and the Federation at Joliet to compete in extreme paintball. Points are awarded for taking control of a base, winning a campaign or capturing the opposition's relic. Battle was from sunrise to sunset, more or less, and the team with the most points would ostensibly win "the power to rule the universe." Well, not quite—but the sentiment was there, and the participants fought like pros, dressed in faux Trek-themed costumes and armed with serious-looking paintball weapons.
No DVD these days is complete without a set of extras, and Spplat Attack is no exception. Extras include a behind-the-scenes look at Shatner's combat training, the arsenal of paintball weapons used, maps of the course, bloopers, photos, biographies of the key participants and a look at the park where the event was held.
A portion of the proceeds from this event, and the sale of the DVD, will benefit one of Shatner's charities, the Hollywood Charity Horse Show.
Alien armies assemble for a wacky war
Not quite a movie, not quite a documentary, Spplat Attack first debuted on pay-per-view, followed by its release on DVD and video. Shatner's voice-overs make for humorous listening, as does the melodramatic music. (Never mind the context in the video; Shatner's best-delivered quip comes at the end, when he cracks, "Well, it's not the first time I've had to babysit a Big Giant Head. And it may not be the last.") Equally as humorous is watching a bunch of adults running about in costume, battling one another in futuristic paintball.
Less entertaining are the overhead bits from the rank and file, which contain the occasional expletive, and trite statements like "The Federation is ready to go, lock and load." (Warning: Sometimes the language in the extras bloopers section, for example, is particularly strong—discretion is advised before showing this to younger viewers.)
The cinematography leaves a bit to be desired, too. The jagged handheld shots provide the you-are-there feel of reality television; however, the lighting is lacking. Often the action and participants are obscured in shadows that are to be expected when shooting in natural daylight at locations that include building structures and a forest.
The amateur-night feel of the filmed product carries over to the DVD's production. The DVD has basic menus, with some menu navigation not as well designed as it could be (for example, the titles of the content are not always quite on). Although we've come to expect better from professionally produced DVDs, this is nonetheless somewhat fitting considering the grassroots nature of the event and the disc's content as a whole.
That said, it's great fun to watch the five minutes of footage of Shatner's hands-on training and preparation session to make him the paintball competitor we see on screen. And the five minutes of bloopers (listed erroneously under simply "Extreme Paintball") have their moments, too, such as the sight of the ominous Big Giant Head on his cell phone.
The rest of the disc's extras are basically there because there was room on the disc. "Inside Challenge Park" is barely a one-minute glossy commercial for the park in Illinois where the event was held. "The Arsenal," biographies, "Tom's Tips" and photo gallery sections are more relevant, but they're nothing fancy to see: just straightforward text and graphics still screens.
Is this what Star Trek has come to? If watching ordinary men and women wage battle is your thing, this 80-minute film provides suitably light entertainment—and is made eminently watchable simply by Shatner's active participation in battle (not unlike his alter ego, Capt. Kirk). — Melissa
Also in this issue: Le6ion of the Dead DVD and That's So Raven
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